i feel a little like Veruca Salt right now.
ya know, the whole “i want it now” thing. she didn’t want to wait for her dad to buy her a goose after they left Willy Wonka’s factory; she wanted one of those gooses, who laid golden eggs right then and there. i mean, who’d blame her, really? waiting is hard business.

this is why i’m such a horrible online shopper. it turns me into Veruca (at least internally…until i get back to my apartment and can re-enact the whole scene in the privacy of my bedroom. i’m not entirely sure my job is secure enough for me to start busting out my Broadway belting here in my office).

but seriously, i’m way too impatient and indecisive for this online ordering stuff. not only does it take me forever to hem-and-haw over what colors and sizes to choose, but then, after i finally work up the nerve to fill a basket and hit the “check-out” button, the disappointment and impatience immediately settle under my skin.

my thought process goes something like this:
see pretty clothes –> want pretty clothes –> finnnallly decide which pretty clothes to make mine –> click a little button saying they’re mine –>…………..

and nothing happens. where are my clothes? why didn’t they magically appear in front of me? oh, that’s right, all i get is an email telling me to have faith in this system that my order will soon arrive at my apartment. and then i have to deal with the reality that these wonderful items that looked so smashing on the wire-thin waifs on the website might not fit me exactly how i’d like them to.

i’m getting anxiety just thinking about it. what was i thinking? of course they won’t fit. they probably won’t even make it to my apartment. this whole thing is a farce. they just get you with those shiny online photos. what size am i anyway?

check back with me in 5-7 business days. hopefully i will have fingernails left by then. and new clothes that actually fit.

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