me = bummed out this week
not quite sure why…one of those “antsy to take on the world, so many things in this dreamer’s mind that i can’t stand another second of sitting still, overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of life that i feel like i’m missing by limiting myself to one small corner of this universe” type of weeks. i want so many things…paris in springtime and mediteranean romps across the Greek isles; impossibly early sunrises from the edge of the pacific coast; mountains and valleys i’ve never explored wearing away at the soles of my shoes. i want to write it all the way i see it, unfiltered and raw, the world as it is interwoven so closely with the world as i know it CAN BE that i lose myself somewhere in the dizzy dance between the two. i want to keep going, and never stop; i want to never look back, but somehow find myself at home with every step i take that leads me into territories and dreams unknown. i want to find beauty here, and learn the art of recreating myself with every new view of the world upon which i stumble…
i want it all, endless days of a life imitating art and holding the mirror up to nature (hamlet, how you taught me well). i want to live a portrait of a story, unconfined by frames, with nothing to pen me in…i want no wings pinned down on canvas holds.

so yesterday, i cried a lot…and then today,  from my cubicle, i remembered that we exist to find and create our own versions of beauty in our little corners of the world. i have so much to be thankful for; more than i tend to realize during my bummer days.

but it’s april now, and not the first anymore – a second day has dawned. i must learn to begin again with each new sunrise i receive.

 

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