Don’t go to California. Seriously – don’t do it. Here’s why:
1. You’ll fall in love, and envision yourself living there. When I say “there,” I mean virtually every town/city/beach/boardwalk/coffee shop/cardboard box on the side of the road that you encounter.
2. You’ll want everything. EVERYTHING, from Santa Monica loves and Pinkberry delights, skinny jeans and songs written about you by long-haired, lazy-voiced musicians in avante-garde attire and “I-could-care-less attitudes,” to boxes at the Staples Center in LA and just-so Laguna Beach sunsets over the Pacific Ocean.
3. No other road will ever compare to the Pacific Coast Highway. Every other down which you ever venture will inevitably disappoint in comparison…
4. You’ll get spoiled by the luxury of wearing flip-flops in December and question how you’ll ever transition back into Uggs and North Face.
5. You’ll like him…and him…and him… (oooh, sorry boys, here you go: “or her…and her…and her”…so I’d guess…) ☺
6. You won’t sleep…because there are so many places you want to go, and people you want to meet, and things you want to do, and songs you want to dance to, and food you want to try…
7. You won’t even miss the snow, when it’s 70 every winter day.
8. You’ll want to attack every surfer in a wet suit you see waiting at a cross walk and beg them, “TEACH ME! TEACH ME! I’M A FAST LEARNER!”
9. You just might act like you’re starring in your very own TV show…and try to bottle, market and sell your winning personality…just waiting for someone to discover you, and realize how fabulous your life is and that they just HAVE to produce it. (Don’t say you weren’t warned this would happen in LA…)
10. You’ll eat Mexican food for almost every meal.
11. You’ll never wish you were anywhere else, no matter where you are.
12. You’ll think the song “You can have whatever you liiiiike,” applies to your current state of being, every second of every day.
13. You’ll wonder how every city in NY can be so dirty…
14. You’ll suddenly think that being a waitress/barista/retail associate in any town that boasts palm trees is probably a fabulous idea, all things considered.
15. Say it with me: “California.” Quite possibly the most beautiful word in the English language, with everything it just might/does suggest…
16. You’ll start to believe that anything is possible, really. You’ll catch the dream.
17. Every new place will be your favorite. And favorites…pretty much make the world go ’round.

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