wildfire taunts my treetop vision in the form of shockburst vermillion and ochre in this October sheen where i am skyframed and blue-dazed, windowed at last and blissfully in love with all things autumn. “they” constantly affirm me to ‘change for no one’ and even though “they” are not me, i bask in the comfort of arm’s-length objectivity and backstroke through these golden days on waves of words and silence – now one, now the other – with all the buoyancy of a lither soul than my September shadows and darkening blues. hear me now, and keep close tabs upon my helium dreams – i no longer look for you when waters part and pearls lay glistening like purest loves to guide the footsteps of my wanderyouth. i sway and weave to learn the pretense [art] of unexpectancy, yet some of us with weighted scales of feathers and clouds cannot fake the utterances of the indifferent and i find myself bewildered in the quietness of nighttime spaces and sidewalk rambles. there is a center to everything, this i believe, yet when the sky begins to fall i suddenly forget my own gravity and things like words and telephones so easily entangle my crisp white dreams of skin and lace.

you say “counting crows is on the radio” and i’m caught off guard to know that means you’re thinking of me, the way his voice weaves stories that i fit around my little life and slide into the pockets of my days like stolen secrets from someone else’s past. we shared them sometimes, his voice a quivering arrow in the quiet in your car or mine, but now i save them for my own shipsail hours and covet the slides of his whine-perfect intonations and the way they barb into my parchment skin with all the urgency of a siren’s kiss. this, then, is mine, and mine alone (even as your absence sprawls beside me and leaves teeth marks along the edges of my summer fade).

[“the feeling that it’s all a lot of oysters but no pearls…and then all at once, you look across a crowded room to see the way that light attaches to a girl…”] ~ adam duritz. (how feelings should sound, when you mean them just so…)

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