Nobody’s perfect – I’ve enough humility and reality in my optimistically idealistic little heart to be fully and totally aware of the fact that my everquest for a seamless existence is really nothing more than a chasing of the wind (but what is to dream, than to deny reality?). So in coming to terms with my imperfection and constant fallibility, I realized there are some habits I’ve adopted that probably could use a little mental restructuring
(Disclaimer: if you’re not ready to hear about my shortcomings and realize I’m far less of a person than you probably hoped I was, please read no further. I’ll feign contentment at remaining somewhat de-personalized in order to retain some semblance of almost-perfection in your eyes….) πŸ™‚ note the sarcasm. chalk it up to being young and impressionable. that’s what I tell myself, at least.
1. i believe that cars will always, always stop for pedestrians (ie, ME, when i am a pedestrian who needs to cross the road), no questions asked. I’m pretty sure I really, truly believe this, which explains my propensity to think i can just walk out into the street at any given time and traffic will stop for me. is this vanity, or self-centeredness, or simply childish ignorance/unwillingness to accept the “logic” of the situation, that walking in the path of moving vehicles miiiight cause an unpleasant consequence…? or maybe i just think i’m invincible…i do have somewhat of a Wonder Woman complex (i love her). i just can’t image that a car wants to hit me, so i’m confident it’ll always stop. hmmm…perhaps, subconsciously, i’ve always wanted to be a girl who stops traffic…
2. i believe frozen yogurt (especially Only 8) constitutes a meal. or can be eaten on a daily basis, for any and every meal. pretty sure this one speaks for itself. i might be exaggerating a little, in lieu of the fact that i don’t eat frozen yogurt on a daily basis, but…here’s my rationale. if you offered me choices of food, and Only 8 was offered as a choice every time…i’d probably have a tape worm (if that whole “eating the same thing over and over again produces a tape worm” rubbish is really true…)

3. say things that totally sound DUMB, for lack of a better word, and really give the impression that i’m unable to effectively communicate exactly what i want to say, and so i talk in circles, or i try to add a disclaimer rather than just saying what i want to say. (hmmm maybe that sentence is explaining itself precisely…) okay so, example: “I don’t want to sound like i’m saying, ‘nobody does this to me,’ but…NOBODY DOES THIS TO ME.” interpretation: that’s exactly what i mean and want to say, but i’m feeling like i probably shouldn’t mean it or want to say it…or else i want to pretend that i feel like i shouldn’t want to say it, but i really do. so i’m going to say it anyway and you can think what you want.
4. run when i have shin splints. did this for over a month this summer. rather painful, probably not the smartest thing, but i’m stubborn and freak out if i can’t run. although if i’d hurt myself worse, i wouldn’t be able to continue running at all…but i don’t really belong to the school of thought of “thinking ahead.” i like to live in the now.
5. abstain from wearing sunscreen b/c i don’t really burn that much and i like to be tan. all signs/articles/experts/friends point to the fact that prolonged exposure to UV rays really can do irreparable damage to your skin. perhaps i should internalize this tidbit and come to terms with the fact that i am not, as stated above, invincible, and that these little life lessons do, in fact, apply to me along with everyone else.
6. text while driving. no further comments. i know, i know, i knowiknowiknowiknowiknow. hence the reason it made the list of “things i probably shouldn’t do’s.” thankyouverymuch.
7. assume everyone is going to like me. another one that stands alone.
8. go months without getting my hair cut and then try to convince my mom/friends/friends’ brothers/boyfriends/anyone who can get a pair of scissors wrapped around their fingers to cut my hair because i suddenly decide it needs to be done NOW. at least i chose my mom last week, and she did a pretty good job. one time, when i was living in colorado, i cut myself bangs on a whim in my roommate’s boyfriend’s Denver apartment b/c i decided i wanted to know what they looked like. i’m hoping that doesn’t recur.
There are probably a bunch more…I’ll keep this an open blog and add updates as I stumble across them. πŸ™‚

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