i spent years reaching with my taking hands for everything i wanted – be thankful you didn’t meet me then, my love, with adolescence still ripe upon my freckled shoulders and my eyes yet-unclouded by disillusioned days – for perhaps i’d have walked upon your heart with my dirty toes and dug too deeply, unawares of how the guiles of a young girl sting and burn.

this is not me now, for i have been rescued from my Egypt; ever-before me sails my angel, a filmy form of feathers and light who promises protection as i follow in her wake of grace and unfurl my once-pinned wings with the breathless anticipation of flight. there was a time when tears came readily but now i radiate a lunar joy, reflecting that which i have been given undeservedly in return for the trifling price of my fluttersoul and eternal heart. (what i have to give, let it be enough)

i fear an end to sunsets in these waking days and while i’ll miss the seashell splendor of a falling sky, i crave the light that sets my skin afire and the gentle hands placing silvery things in my windstrewn hair: the crests of new moons and the final glow of a morning star, an ethereal talisman branding me as a daughter of Light and guiding my oft-wavering steps as i balance precariously on a wire of hope. i am no longer she-of-little- faith, holding loosely with limp fingertips to the coattaills of love while entertaining pleasures of this world with the tips of my wandering toes. (i will not turn my head, for scaling walls on either side of this canyon slither those who are my demons no longer, gnashing teeth and clamoring for my life, clawing violently in attempt to mar the tender skin on the inside of my ankles and paper wrists.)

how You forget-me-not, and forgot-me-not, all these years. how i long for this-or-that and when i finally release it, You bring me more than my little heart ever knew it could desire. in my singular orbit, You outshine even the brightest sun and take my breath away with a gold these eyes will never comprehend – and all you ever wanted was for me to write your name across my wings and trust that i would soar, while my fearful heart rioted within me at the very thought of jumping.
it’s not the falling that sends my insides a-shiver, for i’ve always been a lover of winds, craving the way they lift my heavy hair from the back of my neck and force my eyes to close. no, i’m not afraid to fall, to leave the world behind and for a moment bask in sweet release, pretending i am weightless.
it was always the fear of a landing that kept my feet firmly planted on the ground, until you lifted from me my twitterheart and opened my eyes to what it was i’d been missing all along:
Your outstretched arms, wider than love, cushioning my every fall.

Advertisements